Get Ready for Sex Again

Get Ready for Sex Again

Great tips for getting back in the game when you haven’t been in a sexual relationship for a while.

Let’s say you’ve been out of the sexual arena for a while, for whatever reason — divorced, widowed, just haven’t found that right connection — but you are ready to start playing again. Congratulations for jumping back into life! Rest assured, the parts still perform the same way they always have, albeit maybe a little bit slower and less acrobatically. What goes up still must come down; if it went in, it’s got to come out. This should bring you up to date on the rest. Have fun!
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Allow Yourself to Have Whatever Rules and Limitations You Want
Think about what you want to accomplish: Just a casual encounter to get yourself moving again? Friends with benefits? Or a serious relationship? And it’s important to know that you might not want to have sex with somebody until you know them well, which is just fine. “There is nothing wrong with taking it slow. You are absolutely allowed to do it whatever way you feel like,” says Joanna Whitcup, PhD, founder of the Center for Intimacy & Sexual Health in Greenwich, Connecticut.
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If You Are Insecure About Your Body, Do What You Can and Forget the Rest
Insecure about someone new seeing you naked? “I don’t suggest major diets or unrealistic workout regimens, but being active does make you feel more vital,” says Dr. Whitcup. You don’t need a glam body but it couldn’t hurt to up your exercise and maintain good nutrition. It can make you feel more energetic, help calm anxiety and boost self-confidence. If you still have that self-critical piece that whispers, “I’m not good enough,” consider therapy to reset the old tapes that go on in your head. (And if you do end up with someone who body-shames you, run, don’t walk. This is not the one for you.)

Relearn What Your Body Needs and How It Responds
Explore and get back in touch with your body so you are not totally unfamiliar with the plumbing. Increase your masturbation practices, if you haven’t done so. Whitcup urges, “Learn what you enjoy and respond to. Pay attention to fantasies. Basic, nonsexual massages are a great place to start if you haven’t been touched in a while.”

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Women: Prepare Your Body for Sexual Activity
“Especially in menopause, the vagina absolutely has a ‘use it lose it’ phenomenon. Maintaining is always easier than regaining. Once the vagina becomes more dry, narrow, and shortened, the process of restoring health can take a lot more effort,” says Barb DePree, MD, director of women’s midlife services at Holland Hospital in Michigan and founder of Middle She advises the following:

Get Ready for Sex Again
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Great tips for getting back in the game when you haven’t been in a sexual relationship for a while.

Let’s say you’ve been out of the sexual arena for a while, for whatever reason — divorced, widowed, just haven’t found that right connection — but you are ready to start playing again. Congratulations for jumping back into life! Rest assured, the parts still perform the same way they always have, albeit maybe a little bit slower and less acrobatically. What goes up still must come down; if it went in, it’s got to come out. This should bring you up to date on the rest. Have fun!

Allow Yourself to Have Whatever Rules and Limitations You Want
Think about what you want to accomplish: Just a casual encounter to get yourself moving again? Friends with benefits? Or a serious relationship? And it’s important to know that you might not want to have sex with somebody until you know them well, which is just fine. “There is nothing wrong with taking it slow. You are absolutely allowed to do it whatever way you feel like,” says Joanna Whitcup, PhD, founder of the Center for Intimacy & Sexual Health in Greenwich, Connecticut.
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If You Are Insecure About Your Body, Do What You Can and Forget the Rest
Insecure about someone new seeing you naked? “I don’t suggest major diets or unrealistic workout regimens, but being active does make you feel more vital,” says Dr. Whitcup. You don’t need a glam body but it couldn’t hurt to up your exercise and maintain good nutrition. It can make you feel more energetic, help calm anxiety and boost self-confidence. If you still have that self-critical piece that whispers, “I’m not good enough,” consider therapy to reset the old tapes that go on in your head. (And if you do end up with someone who body-shames you, run, don’t walk. This is not the one for you.)

Relearn What Your Body Needs and How It Responds
Explore and get back in touch with your body so you are not totally unfamiliar with the plumbing. Increase your masturbation practices, if you haven’t done so. Whitcup urges, “Learn what you enjoy and respond to. Pay attention to fantasies. Basic, nonsexual massages are a great place to start if you haven’t been touched in a while.”
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Women: Prepare Your Body for Sexual Activity
“Especially in menopause, the vagina absolutely has a ‘use it lose it’ phenomenon. Maintaining is always easier than regaining. Once the vagina becomes more dry, narrow, and shortened, the process of restoring health can take a lot more effort,” says Barb DePree, MD, director of women’s midlife services at Holland Hospital in Michigan and founder of Middle She advises the following:

The rose vibrator makes a great addition to oral sex or manual stimulation as well. It can help to enhance your pleasure with its multiple intensity levels and strong vibrations for clitoral stimulation. Show more