Bali bombing anniversary: Kuta streets have changed since the attacks
Twenty years on since the Bali bombings killed 202 people, including 88 Australians, on October 12, 2002.
Closure is an often-used word, but it's also hard to describe. Even to someone who has been at ground zero of horrific terror attacks.
Mick Travers flew to Bali this week for the 20th anniversary of the attacks on October 12, 2002, that killed 202 people, including 88 Australians.
The now-retired Australian Federal Police officer spoke at a service at the Australian Consulate-General in Bali. The room was filled with survivors, family members who'd lost someone, and forensic experts who helped in the aftermath.
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"It's probably not a bad time to come to see Bali, and I've got to admit to probably have some closure," Travers said
When the attacks occurred in 2002, Travers led the disaster victim identification (DVI) team at the bomb sites for the AFP, and it was his job to find answers for distraught friends and families.
Three years later, on October 1, 2005, he was deployed to Bali again after bombs were detonated in another terror attack. These blasts killed 20 people, including four Australians, and injured more than 100.
During the anniversary service for the 2002 bombings, Travers spoke about his role as a first responder, about working amid the devastation, and the teamwork that was required to investigate the bombings and
"I found it almost incomprehensible that someone would do this, and in doing so affect many others," he said at the service.
"Working at the scene was difficult, both physically and mentally."
It was at ground zero, amid the burnt-out buildings, cars and devastation, that he also had "so many positive experiences".
"The assistance given to us by the Indonesian National Police, and the local Balinese people including Bambang Priyanto [a local rescuer] and his team of volunteers, is something that I will never forget," Travers said.
"They had experienced these most horrible incidents themselves and had lost friends and family, but they were there to help us in any way they could."
This week Travers walked those Kuta streets again. The Paddy's Bar site where the first blast (in 2002) was detonated by a suicide bomber is fenced off, with a sign that reads 'under construction'.
The Sari Club, where a van parked outside carrying 1.2 tonnes of explosives detonated in 2002, has been bulldozed and fenced off.
"It's not recognisable as what it was 20 years ago," Travers said.
"I wouldn't say it's dead, but it's not the absolutely bustling centre ... I remember lots of lights, lots of shops open and lots of stores."
Speaking to ACM the day after the service, Travers reflected on his speech.
"My closing remark was really about this island being beautiful [and the] wonderful Balinese people. As hard as it might be, those are the memories we really need to start taking away from Bali, not the horror of what was 20 years ago," he said.
As he waits for his plane back to Australia, Travers reflects on whether he got the closure he was looking for.
"To be able to renew the friendships once again, see those people who helped us out so much, it's been a real positive experience," he said.
"I'll go away this time with some really nice memories and fondness of the place and the people
"I'll take some time to walk around and experience that sort of Bali that most people see, but I haven't had the chance to experience."
Mick Travers is among the current and former AFP members who are featured on a new podcast, Operation Alliance: 2002 Bali Bombings, which relives one of the most significant moments in Australia's history